At the beginning of 2013, I moved home to experiment with the idea of opening a cake shop. While I ultimately didn’t end up going in that direction, I did start baking and recipe testing more, writing more, learning about photography, practicing my sugar flowers and cake art, and eventually opened an Etsy shop to showcase my work. Halfway through this year of testing and experimenting, I decided that I was going to move to San Francisco. Now while this wasn’t exactly an impulse decision, deciding to go without having a job, without many friends or family, and really without any security, well that was my biggest leap of faith.
Leaving the east coast was a sink or swim moment for me, and let me say here that it wasn’t always easy. Starting over, no matter how much you try to plan for it, well, it’s just one big risk. The possible success, or failure, it was all on me. And let me tell you, that is a lot of pressure to put on yourself. Yet through all the challenges, I got something even more important than my warped idea of success or failure: I learned to trust myself. I learned to stop worrying and just let go.
Now I have to pause here and say that this wasn’t an overnight lesson. I took a step back from a lot of things in my life (including my blog) and started to evaluate what was important to me. And as a person who struggles with tunnel vision, and obsessing about every detail, well it gets tough to find balance and see the bigger picture.
For close to four months I have been working on moving my blog to another platform, and at every turn there was a problem. It drove me to complete madness because I got stuck in the idea of having everything perfect before I could do anything. I became so paralyzed by the fear of making a mistake that I just stood still. I waited to write anything or post any picture. I tried to map out every possible route before having to actually put myself out there- in other words- be vulnerable. It turns out, the world isn’t waiting on me to be ready. The world is moving on whether I have my shit together or not. So here I am, imperfections and all just putting one foot in front of the other. And you know what? I feel amazing. I have absolutely no clue what 2014 has in store for me, but I’m trusting that it’s going to be great. So my resolutions for this year?
Go slowly. Judge less and laugh more. Enjoy the quiet moments and little things. Forgive more and learn to let go. Don’t be afraid of imperfection. In fact, don’t be afraid. Go boldly in the direction of your dreams, even if you don’t know where they’ll take you. Even if those dreams change. Choose fear less and love more.
Okay, I think that’s enough of the mushy stuff for one post. So let’s get back to the important stuff, shall we? What I’m eating. Next up? Butternut Squash with Brown Butter & Sage. Stay tuned.
Oh and in case you didn’t get to catch it on the last round- I wrote about my favorite places to eat in San Francisco here and I think they’re still pretty relevant if you find yourself in my foggy little city.